Competition Goal

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Look at me now!!!

Today is a GREAT day!!! A few days after I had my baby I went shopping. I was desperate for pants and sick and tired of wearing my maternity gear. While I was there I found a rack of pants for $6 and so I immediately tore through them. I found a pair of pants and a pair of shorts that fit me then so that was great but I also picked up a pair of pants that were WAY too small. No matter what I tried I couldn’t even get them past my thighs. Determined to lose weight and loving the $6 price tag I bought them. I told myself that I would be wearing them before Christmas. Well guess what!!! These are them!!! This morning while getting ready for church I realize that all of my pants are dirty. So I thought what the heck and put these on. To my great delight they went on easily. These pictures don’t really do them justice because they have cute little pin stripes that I don’t think show up in here. They are fantastic!

I love this competition and the support and motivation you all provide. Since I was taking pictures I took some in my jeans… these are the ones I was jumping for joy about getting into not too long ago. Well now they to big!!! They just look sloppy when I wear them so I’m going to have to dig through my closet to find some that are smaller. Go me!!! :0)

Monday, October 19, 2009

One Pound at a Time!

Well, I’m not feeling quite like the big "BLAH, BLAH LOSER" that I was last week. Work is still stressing me out but mentally I’m pretty sure I’ve made it over that lump of frustration that was pushing me down. I want to say thank you to all of you that sent me encouraging comments after my last post. I swear it was all of you that helped me make it through without gaining 10 lbs. :0) I did lose a couple pounds even and that was good because I wasn’t sure that I would be going anywhere. I weighed in today at 319.6!!! GOOD BYE 320’s!!! WOO HOO!!! I’m NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER going to see them again!

By the way… has everyone seen Karilynn’s AMAZING & BEAUTIFUL family pictures? If you haven’t then you must look at them. I don’t know about all of you but that is some serious motivation! Look at how far she’s come in a year. I wanted to publicly say thanks to Kari for not only getting me into the competition but for being a constant inspiration and encourager through out! I love you girl!!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009



Thursday, October 8, 2009

Little Black Dress

This is my little black dress. I know this picture does it NO justice but it has a Marilynn Monroe quality to it. It's SUPER cute on... when it fits that is. I bought this, to go to a wedding, years ago and wore it only a couple of times. My goal is to go to a New Years Eve party wearing this dress! I can't wait!

Friday, October 2, 2009

What the hell! Right?

Ok ladies I’ve decided it’s time to get down and dirty!

Up until this point I’ve been very careful about what I’ve put on my blog as far as weight and stuff goes. I haven’t linked the biggest loser blog page to mine in an effort to keep those not in this contest from seeing it. I have this insane fear that people that don’t “really need to know” will see my weight on there and look at me differently. I have friends and family that read this blog and I guarantee none of them realize how much I really weigh. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to keep it that way. Well that is until today anyway. Today something changed! I’m not really sure what but here is what happened.

Every other Friday when I work there is only myself and one other guy in the whole building. I love these days because it give me TONS of time to get stuff done that I’ve been putting off or that requires some quite research time. It also gives me lots of time to think and reflect. I didn’t plan on thinking about this contest but since it’s the beginning of the month I found myself doing just that. I was thinking about where I have been and where I’m at… more importantly where I want to be and I realized something. I’m exactly where I want to be. At a starting point.

October 1st was yet another starting point for me. I was thinking about the past month and being really hard on myself because I didn’t show a higher weight loss. I was thinking and overanalyzing the choices I made and nit-picking even the slightest error in judgment. But holy crap… look at the inches I’ve lost this month! I’m beating myself up because the scale didn’t move enough and ignoring the 2 pant size drop. What the heck? Sometimes I think about 3 years ago when I lost “this weight” or “that weight” or weighed “this much” or “that much”. I get caught up in the “used to be’s” and the “might have beens”. I can spend hours second guessing myself and the choices I’ve made over the past couple years. But it doesn’t really get me anywhere. Today I realized that thinking about the past, especially when it’s a negative thought process, only does one thing: Takes my eyes off of my future! What is the point if looking back makes you feel crappy when looking to the future is SO full of promise?

So here I am… at a starting point. This is me in ALL my glory. My current weight: 326.6 lbs.

My height: 5’ 10.5” and these are my “before” and “current” pictures. I must admit that it would have been much harder to post these pictures without having some current pictures to go with but, this is still VERY difficult for me!
However, I’m finished! I’m finished worrying who might see my true weight and gasp in surprise or cringe in disgust. I’m finished because, I’m finished being over 300 lbs.
Hell I’m even finished with being over 250!!!

My goal for this month is to look to the future.
Each day I get a new starting point and each day:
I’m going to make better choices than the one before it.
I’m going to walk faster and run farther.
I’m going to smile more and bitch less.
I’m going to set at least one goal for that day and accomplish it!
I’m going to read one chapter in my bible.
I’m going to pray.
I’m sure I’ll think of more to add to this list but I think this is a good start. Don’t you?