Warning: this blog is going to be a bunch of random thoughts all thrown down and probably somewhat negative... just gotta work through some stuff and what better way than here?!?!?!
So as most of you know Karilynn has thrown out a new competition challenge. It's really messing with my head. On one hand I TOTALLY want to compete because I'm feeling and overwhelming lack of motivation these last months and I really need something to kick my butt into gear.... on the other hand. I've got NO motivation to compete or to work or to succeed and I'm not sure the competition is enough to push me into it.
What this means: I don't want to throw away money doing something if I'm not going to do it all the way. BUT if i don't do it at all then that's even worse right? Is it worth it for some motivation to be working even if I'm not killing it and taking first place? Or will doing an OK job and not winning anything just be enough to kill whatever minor motivation signing up may bring? More importantly... if I KILL myself and work really really REALLY hard and I don't win then will that destroy my motivation to succeed for the rest of the time.
In the past competition has done all of those things for me. Fired me up and crushed me, either because I worked super hard and got no where OR I sucked it up and got no where then beat myself up because it was my own damn fault. UGH!
Anyone out there feeling my pain? Why the hell can't this whole thing be easy? Why can't losing weight be like gaining weight? Just indulge yourself in lots of fantastically flavorful fatty food that is SUPER DUPER easy and brings you an immediate false sense of happiness that only last for a minute then requires you to eat more to feel it again. LOL
WOW just typing that had me rolling my eyes and contradicting myself in my head.
BLAH! So, I guess I'm going to do this thing. I don't know what the heck will happen but I suppose working towards something and succeeding a little is better than not working toward anything and doing a really great job at it. I say it all the time to my Taste Bud's... It's better to aim for the moon and miss than to aim for a cow pie and hit it! ~Favorite saying EVER~!
Later dudes... guess I'll see you all in the comp?
Social media
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Wow! What a throwback. I'm currently taking a social media marketing class
in college. I haven't been on here in years. How time has flown.
I' m cur...
3 years ago
5 comments:
Looking forward to this challenge. Reading your post made me wonder if you have any veggies or fruits that you love. Like, I bought a bag of cherries at the store last weekend and went to town on them, really let myself enjoy them, you know? But they don't go to my hips like cookies or stuff.
I hear ya girl. I feel like most days I've lost it all. All I've wanted my whole life was a child to call my very own... I'm not bein greedy and asking for more then one unless god wants to bless me with that. But I can't even have one healthy pregnancy... I know that if I work out more and eat better it will help. When I see I have like 200 lbs to lose it's really discouraging... but my need to be a mom should be great modivation right? Well it should but for the past 2 years I have just maintained. . . I can't explain it. I think maybe it's depression. I think maybe I need to start looking at me and why I can't seem to get out of bed to work out or go on a walk rather then sit here and watch TV... So yes, I feel you on this one. I NEED to make the change in my mind. I NEED to help myself and take care of myself. I know this. I've said this over and over...So why can't I just do it.
Wish i had the answer to that Sammie... I think that if ANYONE found the key to that they'd be rich. Wish someone could bottle it or soemthing... not like a chiemical but just a good feeling in a bottle. LMAO ok, even saying that made me giggle a little. I hope that you find it Sam! And i hope that God will give you your hearts desire. i know he wants to... just wish i knew why it has to be in His time not yours. I love you girl!!!!!
Your post really resonates with me. I feel like I absolutely give it my all- work really hard, keep my calories under control, and just do my very best. Then, I step on the scale, and if it's budged at all, it's like .2 loss. My latest weight loss effort has been going since around Christmas. I've lost 7 lbs. Yep. That's basically a pound a month. Doing a competition like this, and knowing I'll watch people lose 7-9 lbs in a month will be tough on me. I'm a little afraid.
" if I KILL myself and work really really REALLY hard and I don't win then will that destroy my motivation to succeed for the rest of the time?"
Oh Mindy!! This is me too! I've never NOT brought home the bacon in a competition. What if I DON'T win a single penny? AHH!!! I've thought about this over and over. I want to win... but won't I? I mean honestly... if I can rebutton those oh-so-damn-cute pants I'm wearing in my little icon... do I win? And if I don't win a penny.. but I worked my ass off.. that means that a group of gals who REALLY wanted/needed this... KICKED MY ASS!! AND CHANGED THEIR LIVES!!
I have never "thrown money away in a competition" and I don't intend to now. Worse case scenario I spent 50 bucks to find the motivation and support I needed to get my ass back in check and take back some control after a complete derailing of life as I knew it. I am different. I will never be the gal I was. That doesn't mean I can never be healthy! I'm taking back control.
P.S. If you let me beat you.. I will BEAT YOU! ;)
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